I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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