Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
