I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
This baby is an asshole
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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