the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
There r osticjed everywhere
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
