so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
