Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
