I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I need to sanitize my soul.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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