I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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