I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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