She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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