She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Small penises have feelings too.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Randomize
