I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
honey bunches of taint.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
