honey bunches of taint.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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