Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
