i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
