why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
