I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
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I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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