I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
