Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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