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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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