it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
