We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Holy shit dude........stairs
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
