If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
