they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
