I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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