Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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