why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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