idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
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No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
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She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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