420 ftw
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
