Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
