last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
