It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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