Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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