I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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