There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
