It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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