I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
