O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
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Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
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All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
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