I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
