i can't believe i had my finger in that
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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