you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
