you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
