I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
