Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
