i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
