one might say we're banned from that church
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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