You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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