I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
