Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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