so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
