I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
