why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
