Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
