first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I think I died a long time ago.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
