Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
