Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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