I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
