I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
