i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
