and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
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Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
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you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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