I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
