i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
